Post No.: 0964
Furrywisepuppy says:
Lucky people increase the odds of, notice and act upon the opportunities that come their way. They enjoy being around and are relaxed around others. They break the ice by asking for information or help, by saying they like something (non-clichéd) about whom they’re with, and by finding mutual grounds. They capitalise on naturally-occurring social situations. They don’t force it but have fun and go with the flow. So breathe deeply, think of your ‘happy place’, feel at ease, then enter the throng.
They ask open-ended questions whilst explaining why they seek the other person’s views or advice. They’re not afraid to ask to meet up with someone again if things go initially well. And they’re not afraid of rejection.
They don’t limit their vision, prejudge or have fixed prior expectations. So don’t narrowly focus – broaden your horizons. See what’s really out there and not only what you hope to see. Don’t focus too hard on things that you might miss the bigger picture and any unexpected opportunities – lift your head up and notice what’s around you. Mix things up now and again – be spontaneous and randomise things occasionally. And it’s not just how you look but also where – opportunities are everywhere. You just have to look, listen and then seize them.
Go public with your goals – we’ll more likely stick to our targets and promises if we tell the world about them. This’ll also elicit much needed support from others – having friends at your side makes progress easier and challenges more surmountable. So don’t protect yourself from the fear of public failure. Laugh at failures if they happen. Spread the word, meet new people and build networks – the more you talk with others about what you’re trying to do, the luckier you’ll get. Be pleasant, expansive and generous – the more you give your time for others, the more others will give their time for you.
Don’t try too hard to find ‘perfect’ people – just make friends. Relax, listen to people and be open to what’s out there. Don’t always purposely seek – again just see what’s there for what’s there rather than try to find what you want to see. Attune to the opportunities that arise naturally – you cannot force it. Don’t be too rigid in what you’re looking for that you miss what alternate things you may receive.
One new person is a door to potentially 300 more! Talk to a variety of people too, not just those whom you think are right. New people equal new possibilities. This world is after all, for better or worse, more about who you know than what you know. So ‘increase your luck’ by chatting to people and spending time with them. Put the effort in to connect with others. Smile, give friendly eye contact, be open and engage wholeheartedly. Woof!
Try to build long-lasting connections with those you meet – try to build friendships or allies with everyone you can. Give everyone a fair chance. Like people. ‘Collect’ people. Keep in touch with people. Care about each one. Be interested in them and how they are. Make regular calls and messages – even just to catch up with everyone. Someone fluffy could one day help you progress your life.
It’s like the more prize draw competitions you enter (that cost only a moment of your time to enter rather than any money), the ‘luckier’ you’ll get, because you need to enter them to have any chance of winning them at all. No guarantees but you’ve got to give things a chance.
Okay technically we’re doing work here, through putting in our time and energy, by entering these competitions, rather than increasing our luck – we cannot personally control our own luck otherwise it’s not the definition of luck. Yet by doing this work, you give yourself an increased chance of success, which one may regard as having the same effect.
Well, psychologically, it helps to believe that you’re in control of your life. Wanting something and having a belief in achieving it are nowhere near sufficient for success – but they’re necessary to make us try for it. So believe you have the ability to succeed through hard work, patience, persistence and sound judgements. Remind yourself of your past successes to inspire you in the face of your present challenges. Be inspired by other people’s successes after facing tough challenges and putting in the hard graft too.
Post No.: 0931 talked about having a plan. It’ll help you track progress. Break your overall goal down into bite-sized tasks and create a step-by-step plan of measurable and time-based actions to progress from where you are to where you want to be. Think about the good things that’ll happen when you achieve your aims. Make your plans, progress, benefits and rewards as concrete as possible by writing or charting them down. Perhaps put them up on the wall? Monitor the behaviour you’d like to change – record your progress in a journal or chart, and reward yourself for making progress towards your goal. Keeping a diary, for instance, is highly effective because by recording your actions you are more consciously aware of your progress.
For those who have worthy ideas and realistic ambitions but have a fear of failure, or even a fear of success – be brave and take those leaps. Fail, then be brave again. One may fail or stall many times but persist and adapt with no loss of enthusiasm because each hiccup is a step towards success. There’ll always be critics, but there’ll also be those who’ll be on your side.
Letting tasks pile up is stressful. To combat procrastination and just thinking about doing something – just jump in and do a bit of it without worrying about whether you’ll finish that task that day. The next day, it’ll feel easier to continue with an already-begun task than ‘a blank sheet of paper’.
To make something more interesting, maybe turn it into a game by, say, competing and challenging yourself via limiting the time available to complete it – to get that adrenaline rush that excites and somewhat panics you into finishing it?
Now ‘keeping your eyes on the prize’ or finish line works better with simple tasks like a race – when you’re flagging yet counting down to the finish line, it can encourage you to hang on in there or even give you an extra push to reach it. But ‘keeping your eyes on the ball’ is more important in more complex tasks like a game of rugby – because focusing on the final whistle and on winning can distract us from concentrating on what needs to be done to actually win.
Aim to reward yourself with a treat after completing every major step and making progress (e.g. with a leisurely day out). If you can do your work before you have fun then you’ll find that you’ll enjoy that fun more because you won’t be constantly thinking ‘I’ve still got to do that work’. So if you’re forced to do things, like homework – do them by thinking about how better you’ll feel once they’re over and done with and no longer overhanging you. Aim to do tasks the minute they come your way and ‘never touch a piece of paper twice’.
Don’t put off decisions – research the necessary infurmation and make your best judgement at the time. You mightn’t need to commit to your choice immediately but you’ll be ready when you do. If you’re putting off an activity because you don’t know how to do it then the answer of ‘how’ won’t come to you if you just sit and wait – you must proactively gather information on how to do it. (Never put off seeing a doctor if you feel something unusual too.)
If you constantly feel like you have low energy levels then to break out of this you must actually increase your energy expenditure and be more active. The counterintuitive thing about energy levels (unless you have a relevant medical problem) is that the more physically active you are (unless you overdo it), the more you’ll feel energised during your days instead of drained (apart from the moments just after a prolonged or intense exertion). You can witness the huge difference in pep between elderly people who’ve been and are active compared to their peers who’ve not been and aren’t! Your activity and fitness levels as you grow old will naturally gradually drop but you can still be fitter than some people much younger than you if you keep active, which will more likely be the case if you’ve always been active.
Thus you’re as young as you want to feel – and you can feel young by keeping fit, healthy and mentally and spiritually positive. So take good care of yourself. And it’s never really about how many years that have passed but about how many years you have left, and no one knows for certain how many years they have left so just feel how you want to feel. Once you firmly reach adulthood, and apart from things like the menopause, age is just a number in the sense that there isn’t a 1:1 correlation between being a certain chronological age and becoming infirm or whatever. How you feel is what most matters.
There’s a huge difference between feeling ‘calm tired’ and ‘tense tired’ – it may be an issue of mental fatigue rather than physical exhaustion. So tackle the true root causes of your stresses directly instead of constantly temporarily resting then returning to the same old stressors again.
Learn how to properly relax – passive resting (apart from sleep) allows your mind to wander and worry about problems whereas mentally-involving activities like playing games, crafts or digging in the garden provide a more complete and effective distraction and therefore a proper rest. Stay strong and positive by keeping physically fit and mentally stimulated. Try new or challenging pastimes.
The occasional moment of boredom is normal. You don’t have to fill every second of your days with structured activities. But if your tiredness is due to boredom – your goals and ambitions must have real meaning for you and energise you, not deplete you. So rethink them. Don’t discount modifying your whole lifestyle if need be?
And don’t take on too much, particularly on your own. Delegate and gather support (of all types). Choose your work carefully – don’t always and automatically accept every job. Balance your energy between work, home, leisure and social relationships.
At work, pointless attendances of meetings can be avoided by clearly explaining the agenda of a meeting beforehand, instead of just calling one a ‘team meeting’ or ‘update’. Only those who need to be there should be there. The added benefit is that people can prepare for it (perhaps let people preview the slides and key materials ahead of time), as well as keep the discussion from drifting onto tangents. We’ll also know when a meeting is done. Stick to the agenda. Start and end them on time! Try to tackle the most crucial agenda items early in the meeting. Limit people’s airtime by giving them short turns when talking, and ensure that everybody gets heard, not just a few (at some point, call on each person who hasn’t spoken up yet). Always leave time for genuine debate and decision-making rather than just have presentation after presentation. Then, unless it was just for brainstorming purposes, a meeting must end with follow-up assignments or clear accountabilities, like making a decision on a matter and by whom and when.
Do a calendar audit and cut out needless activities from your calendar – things that add no value, that add some value but not as much compared to the opportunity cost for your time, or that add value but can be easily delegated to others.
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