Post No.: 0686
Fluffystealthkitten says:
More frequently than not for a social species like humans – the optimal strategy for individuals is to work well together as a team. Well everybody is born dependent on others as babies and will experience their last days dependent on others if they live long enough to become elderly. (No one can even be born in the first place without others because no one enters the world through their own ****!)
People aren’t just dependent on others – people are also dependent on other animals and life, such as pollinator insects for food, plants and phytoplankton for oxygen, fungi to keep the soil healthy, and so on. Natural sources provide much of the water, food and medicines humans need and exploit. Basically, every living organism depends on other living organisms to survive on this planet because we all co-evolved with other life. Dependence – or rather interdependence – is a fact of life on Earth, hence why we must look after each other, as well as the planet. Meow.
So we must learn to work together. In the workplace, we naturally need to help our team members out when they need help, as well as learn to ask for help and delegate when we need help. If you are a ‘control freak’ or perfectionist then try to trust in others more and relinquish some control now and again since others may be better suited and more efficient at doing certain parts of your work. These people will also feel entrusted by you, and their work will be of high quality if you are patient with them. Your partnership will improve too. (Read Post No.: 0545 for how to effectively delegate.)
Perfectionism and being overly controlling is inefficient so tolerate imperfection – ask ‘what’s going to happen if something is a little imperfect?’ And ask ‘what are the costs for seeking perfection?’ Aiming for perfection is commendable but in many contexts it results in very little extra gain relative to the opportunity cost for your time i.e. it’s not worth it. Work smart, not just hard.
Do firstly employ the best and don’t worry if they are better than you, as long as they respect you as the boss. Expect to get what you want only after you know exactly what you want yourself too. So don’t assume – make sure others know in clear terms what you expect out of them. Directors, managers and bosses are always ultimately responsible for an organisation’s progress or disasters, but do try to share some responsibilities, share the rewards and share the setbacks with others – it’s like a team sport.
Being a ‘control freak’ may be due to experiencing how others have let one down before, which has led one to over-generalise that everyone else is unreliable and will let one down again. At the extreme, it may then express as an intolerance and a hubristic belief that one is always right and others are wrong and will only make mistakes.
If you want to motivate others and you want them to do something for you – a useful approach is to ask them to help you think about how to do it i.e. ask for advice first. This makes them feel appreciated for their ideas and input and not just how well they can follow orders. People do things for social rewards, like praise, admiration and recognition, from those around them too. So ask for their advice and their opinions. Boost and protect the self-esteem of others and you’ll be popular.
Most people love to give advice and comments, but receiving unsolicited advice and comments can be unwelcome. (It’s like backseat drivers or backseat gamers!) It’s usually given with good intentions but can have the opposite effect of helping if ill-judged. (Or if the intention isn’t to help others but to make oneself sound clever then it’s definitely ill-judged.) Telling someone what they ‘should’ do and how they ‘should’ change when they didn’t ask for it usually arouses defensiveness, obligation and closes the listener down. It’s as if they need ‘fixing’. Thus they’re not going to be in the right open state of mind for accepting new ideas or picking themselves up from the ground for change.
So managers need to coach for compassion rather than for compliance or obligation. This is difficult to do at first because when we want to help people, we can be too eager to tell them what ‘we think’ they should do or not do – but we must switch from focusing on the problem to focusing on the process of coaching and motivating, then onto the person, which requires strong empathy. Ultimately, the measure of one’s leadership skills depends on whether one’s approach works to help a person change for the better or not. You could try imagining yourself on the receiving end of your own advice – would you feel motivated, confident and uplifted for positive change (in a rejuvenated state), or would you feel attacked when already down, defensive and less confident than ever (in a fight-or-flight state)?
Let them know that you think they have the capacity to achieve something they had not imagined they could achieve, and they will, because you will have ‘inspired’ them to do it rather than ‘persuaded’ them. Leaders who are positive, energising, encouraging and motivating are more effective at improving performance than charming or attractive people.
Our greatest role models are those who pushed us to excel, who had unreasonably high expectations of us and got us to perform beyond our own expectations – hence holding someone to high standards will produce higher results. However, although ‘stretch goals’ (which are goals that aren’t expected to be achieved 100%) can challenge and motivate people to perform highly – if they’re too much or a goal is constantly out of reach then it can conversely de-motivate, stress out, and encourage cheating and/or too much risk-taking.
The ‘Peter principle’ means that people often get promoted to positions that are a step above their maximum competency because people stop getting promoted once they stop excelling at their current position. The solution is to not promote those who are performing well at their current role but to promote those who have proven abilities at the intended role.
Bad team players will try to pin the blames on others if something goes wrong yet will try to take some, if not all, of the credit if something goes right. A common trick is shirking taking leadership roles whilst criticising everything that another leader suggests, for if the team wins, these comments will likely be forgotten because the team is happy celebrating, but if the team loses, they’ll personally play the ‘I told you so’ card against their own team members! They are highly insecure and egotistical, such as wanting everyone to know that something was their idea if they think it’s a good idea; usually with a confirmation bias i.e. they don’t equally highlight all of their bad ideas or mistakes. (Even heads of states can be this insecure, egotistical and biased by constantly forwarding contradictory statements so that they can look back and remind people of the moments they appeared right, while brushing under the carpet all of the moments they were categorically wrong; which is in essence a propaganda trick.)
Some naïvely believe that being an assertive leader or an independent-minded person means being antagonistic – if you say A then they’ll have to say B, and even if you later agree with them by restating B, they’ll now say A or C! They think it means they’re big and clever if they can tell other people they’re wrong, even if they might contradict themselves. They think that not doing something that someone else (who’s considered lowlier) suggested shows that they’re not a follower but a leader or at least independent-minded. Like above – if they oppose their leader, then if their team wins then it won’t matter; but if their team loses then they can say, “I told you so!” They may also especially feel they cannot follow someone they’ve previously criticised as a leader. But being authoritative isn’t about being obtuse or antagonistic – to agree with another person’s ideas and views may appear like subordinate behaviour, but one should agree with an idea or view if it is sound, or disagree if it is unsound, rather than because of who said it. Evaluate an argument on its own merits, not according to the person who expressed it (a form of ad hominem fallacy).
The way we phrase sentences can reveal a lot about ourselves too, like whether we have an inclination to say, “Me and you” instead of, “You and me”, or saying, “I” instead of, “We” when talking about a team performance or partnership. This can reveal where our implicit biases are. Just saying phrases that emphasise oneself over the team can prime oneself to look after number one over the interests of the team, hence it’s not just grammar.
We will fail if we think of only ourselves. Well doing business is essentially about meeting the needs and wants of one’s customers – so focus on their needs and wants. And asking is the most basic way to uncover what people want, naturally. (Uncovering their needs, as opposed to wants, can sometimes be trickier though.) Therefore get in front of the right persons first – those whose desires must be met. You’ll need to identify their problem then help them solve it. Only then will they try to help you.
Check what impresses and what irritates your clients? Ask what’s most important to them rather than to you? Ask your potential clients what they are looking for and not looking for before asking for their business, in case you and them are not a good fit. In creative briefs, you should express your own identity and flavour but the client must ultimately be satisfied in the end. And seek periodic feedback.
…Most people naturally seek to reciprocate – so tit-for-tat, with a kind first move. This will encourage an ongoing cycle of kind moves and positive interactions between the parties. In market contexts where the parties are competing against rather than cooperating with each other, you might need to explicitly name what you expect to get in return for your work before it’s done though.
Together you will work through towards a greater chance of success. So engineer the physical work environment and time schedules to encourage chance encounters between employees, to foster collaboration and the exchange of ideas.
If you enjoy your work – your colleagues and team will almost feel like a second family. So get to know your colleagues well at a social and personal level. To help engross yourself with your work – make the people you work with more human and individual. A lot of people spend more waking hours at work than with their families at home (although never neglect your leisure, social and home family life).
Always be keen to ask successful people how they succeeded too. Ask others who have been there and have done what you wish to do – what are the pitfalls to avoid and the things to try? Be mentored if possible – there’s probably no better way to learn something. Good managers act like mentors.
In the end, we all need help to succeed, and we should help others to succeed too. Everybody must realise that if it weren’t for other people and other people’s discoveries and inventions, every successful person today would not have become successful at all. Some people are lucky for being born or raised in the right place and at the right time. Everyone is only ever building upon the geniuses, discoveries, creations and (often publicly-funded) inventions of others – no one ever achieves anything alone. No one ever makes it alone, despite our typically myopic perspectives. So always remember to give something back and something forward to the next generations…
Meow.
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