Post No.: 0938
Fluffystealthkitten says:
Some issues are just biological and are nobody’s fault but I agree that human females culturally receive a worse deal than human males overall. Plenty can and should be blamed on men for gender inequality. Yet women can fail to do their part too.
Controversial statements ahead but many females expect males to do ‘male’ things and females to do ‘female’ things i.e. equality isn’t what they really want. It’s not right to hit anyone but some females find it okay for a woman to hit a man and for men to ‘take it like a man’ yet expect men to ‘stand up for themselves’ if another man hits them. Some females stereotype ‘all men are x’ yet say it’s wrong to assume ‘all women are y’. Some women think females are superior to males rather than equal. Some demand help from males to get more females into high-powered positions in organisations yet accuse men of patronising them whenever they genuinely wish to help women. Some call for men to do their part in fighting gender inequality but if men help women, it’s deemed inauthentic (e.g. the Spice Girls, for which ‘girl power’ was a slogan, were produced by men). Some women still expect men to always pay the bills during dates, which harked from the days when women had no money of their own to pay for anything.
It’s thus double standards and gives mixed messages.
Some women ogle and objectify men (e.g. #HotSoundGuy) and comment on their body parts, whether complimentarily or derogatorily. Women giving unsolicited comments on a guy’s ‘sexy chest’ or ‘tight buns’ should be regarded as equally creepy as men wolf-whistling at how women look.
As a slight aside, if we ever make an unsolicited comment on how unattractive someone else is, we’ve got to understand that they’re not asking us to sleep with them! Kind of like if we make an unsolicited comment on how someone else’s cooking isn’t to our taste – they’re not offering their dinner to us! Can’t they just be and do their own thing? We can believe we’ll ‘know’ someone based solely on how they look but these assumptions would be based on prejudices. If someone is considered creepy for having a ‘weird’ nose, birthmark, scar, wonky face or some other feature of the way they look then the term ‘creepy’ has lost all meaningfulness because it should be about people behaving in selfish, uncaring and malevolent ways, not about how they look or their innocent behaviours. Some people genuinely feel antipathy and suspicion about others who look and behave atypically to society’s expectations though – hence it goes to prove that tolerance and combating discrimination is linked with courage as well as fluffy education.
Gold-digging women stifle women’s liberation and equality. There are some women who judge some men as too short, when they’re even shorter than them(!) Oh so there are different standards for the genders? Noted. Well I suppose she’s a decent driver… for a woman. Meow.
‘Ladies first’ shouldn’t be a normative rule. Wives should take responsibility to jointly look after the home finances with the husband (for real-world practical reasons really). It should be okay to ask about a woman’s age or weight if it’s okay to ask men these questions. Males should be free to talk about female menstruation in a factual way without taboo. ‘Woman flu’ should be a joke if ‘man flu’ is one!
But maybe there needs to be an overcompensation for a while – as in a period of positive discrimination in favour of women (‘positive action’ or ‘temporary special measures’ in human rights law)?
Men are called ‘legends’ for taking the virginities of women or for having sex with many partners, whilst women are called ‘whores’ if they give their virginity or bodies away too early or easily. The patriarchy expects wives to take the surnames of their husbands, but expects the man to earn more than the woman. Some judge women who are physically large, and men who cry, are househusbands or wear high-heeled footwear, negatively. These all aren’t right.
Shouldn’t men have equal access to their children after marital splits, and shouldn’t fathers have the same rights as mothers to take time off work to care for their children through shared paternity leave? It’s wrong to try to silence debates about men’s rights and calling these activists ‘rape apologists’, just like it’s wrong to try to silence debates about women’s rights and calling these activists ‘feminazis’. Men shouldn’t receive longer sentences than women for committing identical crimes. Equal pay should indeed come from equal work. This one is actually the law. Post No.: 0692 explored gender pay disparities.
A woman can be a glamour model if she truly wants to be one, despite some other women sneering at her for ‘not being feminist’ according to their particular conception of feminism. Sex industry work can be exploitative for those who feel that they don’t have any other employment prospects but empowering for those who really do freely choose that career. Maybe film actresses who accept revealing more flesh get paid more or receive more roles? Yet by accepting the money, they’re perpetuating pressures on other women to bare their flesh too? A common trend with female musical artists is that they gradually start to play on their sex appeal – are they the ones in control or the ones being exploited? Regardless, nudity doesn’t have to be sexualised in all contexts.
As another aside, why do some men collect and share images of women who don’t want their nudes publicly seen? Aren’t there enough consenting sex workers to not need to bother those who don’t wish to give you nude pictures of them? It’s perhaps not a direct sexual-gratification issue but a power issue; along with a money issue because such collections are often sold via social media forums. Any sexual harassment can lead to women finding it really difficult to trust all men. So good men need to be allies with women in the battle against sexual harassment at work, outside or anywhere.
Fewer females voluntarily wish to be professional race car drivers compared to males. Many women themselves watch more men’s football than women’s football. It’s the free market, and according to free market dynamics, there won’t be equal pay unless there’s an equal market. We can seek for proportional pay according to the market size in terms of the revenue though, which female footballers unfairly still don’t seem to get. And we can seek for equal coverage from broadcasters – although again market demand at least partly shapes these supply decisions. It’s like expecting men’s cosmetic companies to earn as much as women’s ones.
If over 40% of videogamers are female but less than 1% of the highest earners in esports are female then it’s down to the free market again. Esports aren’t currently segregated by gender so it’s all equal for anyone to enter, plus if roughly half of all gamers are female then it cannot be said that they’re lacking the opportunity to play, practise and test their skills against others. Female gamers still frequently receive misogynistic abuse or unwanted lecherous attention however, which might dissuade them from entering the industry professionally.
As competitiveness increases across a sports league or product category, quality rises all-round, and you don’t get to see so many one-sided matches and the cheapest products will be pretty decent too. The disparity between the best and worst shrinks.
Women in business trying to emulate stereotyped men in business, with their pigheadedness and pugnacity, don’t help women either I think. (One time, women even used to try to look more like men by wearing suits with thick shoulder pads!) It just reinforces the notion that ‘masculine’ traits are more successful – although such traits should arguably be regarded as non-gendered in a gender equal world.
Some women desire hunky ‘knights in shining armour’, but others find chivalry patronising. (Most disabled people don’t want others to assume they always need help either – they’ll tell you if they do, or you should ask them first.) Well a better world would be one where any gender offers their seat or opens the door for any gender, rather than none for none.
Most women say they want gender equality but many still generally want and expect men to be bigger, stronger and to dominate them. But dominance can only be measured when in proper contexts of competition and necessity, not when there’s no need to be forceful, like when at home – where cooperation between equal partners is a more productive strategy. Well even away from home – being loud, bumptious, obnoxious, stubborn, self-aggrandising and aggressive is seldom the most encouraging and inspiring way to lead. And we detest wars yet revere men who are competitive and ambitious. Nice guys are needed if we want more peace and if women want more men who support better gender equality, rather than men who follow traditional male stereotypes and expectations.
But some women think with their vaginas as much as some men think with their penises! ‘Trusting our innate gut feelings’ is basically trusting our caveperson instincts, and cavepeople didn’t live in as civilised and progressive times as we are trying to live in presently. Prejudices can arise from gut feelings (implicit biases) because they aren’t reasonable when we try to use reason to justify something like racism. Stereotypes based on people’s ethnicity or nationality are injudicious because we date individuals, not races or countries. Humans gradually evolved to become less hairy for the advantages of thermoregulation, yet some cavewomen still desire ‘hairy cavemen’; although this is less of an issue than being drawn to the behavioural traits of cavemen. Cavewomen typically weren’t treated as well by cavemen as modern women are by modern men.
So just because something feels innate and natural, like males trying to inseminate as many fertile females as possible and thus attempting to justify infidelity, it doesn’t mean it’s right. Women need to choose to mate with fewer cavemen if they bemoan that too many men are simple! Rape is far less common nowadays than in caveperson times to either acquiesce or perish, so isn’t the bigger idiot someone who freely chooses to go out with an idiot?! We should aim to become better than, not be like, our ancestors. It’s again about both supply and demand.
If women don’t find – through their actual mating choices and not just sentiments – nice guys more desirable than ‘bad boys’ then it perpetuates cultural toxic masculinity; as well as toxic femininity, where females are expected to be meek, passive and small. Appearing as an ‘alpha male’ is all bluster anyway (e.g. posturing to make oneself appear bigger, deepening one’s voice) – demonstrating real courageous deeds and command isn’t an ‘alpha male thing’ because any gender can demonstrate it. Naïve conceptions of male ‘alpha-ness’ may even lead to misogyny, bullying, sexual harassment and abuse against females (e.g. Andrew Tate and those boys who regard him as a role model).
Some also confuse attention with respect hence some women dress for attention while what men give them isn’t respect. All respect includes attention but not all attention includes respect. This may be considered victim-blaming but it’s just like we need to protect our computers from malware and not just expect fraudsters to treat our properties with respect.
There have been many queens of England in history, yet they’ve done little to nothing for female equality for the masses. It took as late as 2011 before male heirs were no longer entitled to pass daughters in line to the throne.
The fight for gender equality absolutely needs male and other gender allies from all corners to back it – but it also needs all females being properly aligned towards this direction too. You can use the Twitter comment button below to decorously express your views on this subject.
Meow.
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