Post No.: 0960
Fluffystealthkitten says:
Proffered are a plethora of persuasion pointers – some of which summarise what we’ve already learnt before in previous posts on the subject of negotiations and some of which are new…
The utmost thing is to never lose focus on why you’re there negotiating in the first place i.e. to sell/acquire something and strike a fruitful deal!
But people will only do something with you if they feel it’s in their best interests to do so – so always think what’s in it for them?
And if you genuinely have their interests at heart, understand that they’re not doing something for you by agreeing to a deal – you are doing something for them e.g. you have the best product or desirable intellectual property they need! So the pressure of making a deal is two-way. See yourself as at least equal to the other party – never feel intimidated by them. So confidently project that you can reward them. Convey that you have specially and personally selected them too.
Offer benefits, not features i.e. supply their needs, solve their problems, improve their position and their future. Explain the costs if they don’t buy from you too.
Information alone won’t persuade without a convincing point of view – so draw conclusions, ask them to act, and tell them what they must do now.
Build trust. Being pleasant, likeable and empathic is critical. People will help you if you help them, and they’ll only do something if they feel good about it.
In ongoing relationships, they don’t just buy the product – they most importantly buy you, as it were.
Shake paws (or whatever’s customary in the country you’re in – be sympathetic to the culture of the other party) early on. Give good eye contact, and smile for longer than them. Remember and constantly use people’s names. (Try this – say the person’s name at the beginning or end of a request, and smile and tilt your head to the side a little as you say it :).)
Expand your centre to everyone there. Make everyone feel special. Get on their wavelength. Be interesting and most of all be interested in them. Be positive as much as you can.
Give sincere compliments to show that you like them. Tell them they’re fair and it’ll be harder for them to behave unfairly towards you. Build and build this behaviour pattern gradually, layer-by-layer.
Build a personal, friendly ‘liking’ relationship so that it’ll be harder for them to be ruthless towards you i.e. point out your similarities, give praise and co-operate. Focus on your mutual interests. Understand the other side’s position. Make it like a personal relationship e.g. talk hobbies and family. But know when to back off, and never underestimate them even if you think you’re now quite amicable with each other!
Inclusive humour (laughing with rather than at others) makes people feel good, which makes them more generous. Meow.
Be consistent, not unpredictable, for trust. Have a non-deviating set of standards at all times (although ‘exceptions can be made in special circumstances’ can be deployed as a major psychological concession if you can remain on the right side of ethical).
Be genuinely passionate about your product and convey your enthusiasm. Make them believe in you and it too. Be the expert in your field – have more expertise than they do.
Build credibility; never assume it. Only tell them as much as they’ll believe. Never overstate your case or exaggerate. Don’t promise more than what can be delivered. (Be wary of the other party lying too – if in doubt, ask to verify information.) In fact, to obtain positive feedback – promise less then deliver more. Use testimonials and keep adding to them. Why not also try to get them to recommend you to others?
Appeal to both their head (logic) and heart (emotions). Appeal to their personality. Some people act more on possibility or necessity, are self or externally centred, pleasure seekers or pain avoiders, dependent or independent thinkers – so appeal to their type with your reasonings. With assertive and unemotional people – state the facts and get straight to the point, otherwise take time to give them all the information first before asking. With emotional and intuitive people – be friendly, warm and tantalise their imagination. With those who dislike change – stress the improvements over their current ways. Show and tell those with an open mind. Let those with a closed mind see and do firsthand.
Continually paint buoyant scenes and build positive affirmations in the mind of your client. Associate your message or product with pleasurable feelings. (This is why lots of deals are made during a good lunch or a fun game of golf.)
And build up to a win-win outcome. Think ‘we’ not ‘I’. Create an obligation – if you do something for them then they must do something for you. Give them what they want and they’ll give you what you want. Stress that if you gain then they’ll gain more, or if you lose then they’ll lose more.
Stress the scarcity of your product. Remember that you add value and are unique too! Never state that you have a deadline or are in a rush. Apply time pressure on them instead by stressing that this opportunity won’t hang around for long. Never back them into a corner though. Leaving a proposal with them for a while can even sometimes eventually lead to acceptance.
Make a confession and ask them to not tell anyone else this secret, and they’ll want to do the opposite and tell everyone!
Minimise opposition by firstly supporting an issue that you know they’re enthusiastically behind.
State your strongest argument last if the audience has volunteered to be there. State your strongest argument first if they’re not already sold on the issue. Try to present your case first if other competitors are vying for the same contract. Present only one side of the argument if the audience is friendly or if it’ll be the only view presented and you’re looking for a swift approval. Present both sides of the argument if the audience is passive, hostile or if they’ll subsequently be hearing opposing views and you seek to build long-term support.
Obtain feedback for your ideas by using a scale of 1 to 10. Take it ‘personally’ if objected – maintain the heart-to-heart. Yet understand that objections are good because it means they’re not just looking.
If someone has ill feelings towards you or what you’re doing, or if something else is bothering or pre-occupying them – get their feelings out into the open. Encourage them to let it all out, and listen. Only then can it be dealt with. With angry people, decide whether you’re the reason behind it or not. Apologise sincerely if it is your fault. Rise above it. Never exacerbate it. And if it’s simpler to comply then comply (but do properly understand what’s being demanded before offering any concessions).
Diffuse conflicts by asking, “We’re really both here for the same thing aren’t we?” Ask this rather than state it because then it’ll seem like their decision to agree.
If someone won’t talk, ask what’s up? And offer your help, ask open-ended questions, give them time if they’re evaluating something, and build reassurance with them.
Try to conduct negotiations on your own territory, not theirs. Otherwise do it on neutral grounds.
Ideally negotiate for yourself. Then get an agreement approved by a solicitor before signing anything. Once verbal negotiations are over, get a memorandum of understanding/heads of agreement signed promptly before the other side forgets what was agreed. Try not to let the other side write out the contract, or always read any contracts from cover to cover every single time in case something undeclared has been changed!
Always think of money in real terms, not as e.g. a ‘percentage per year’ or ‘rate per day’ since this distorts the true cost. Use relative figures against them instead e.g. that €1M is a miniscule fraction of their 5-year turnover. Every little bit counts e.g. €5,000 mightn’t be much to them but it may be to you.
Plan and research as much about the other side as possible e.g. their objectives, personalities, company’s health, news, common grounds and shared interests.
Answer are you seeking the right things, and what justifications support what you seek? What are the best alternatives? What are the potential sticking points? Know when to walk away.
Ask questions if unsure of anything. Lean towards ‘positively loaded’ questions, which are productive; not ‘negatively loaded’ ones, which can imply doubt. Spend more time asking questions to reduce their thinking time. Because information is power – be a good listener. Find out if they have any hidden agendas.
The best negotiators ask lots of questions, test for understanding, summarise, and listen a lot. Instead of always mentally thinking about what you want to say next when someone else is talking – listen and also pay attention to their non-verbal cues. Form your judgements and questions after they’ve finished speaking.
Listening intently makes the other party like you and trust you more. Ignoring someone is one of the most rude and disrespectful things you can socially do, and you’ll end up not being respected or listened to in return. So ensure they feel like they’re being heard.
Carefully probe to learn why a particular issue matters more to them or why a certain option isn’t possible. Patiently enquire into the information not given to you. Information can be expressed or implied. Silence or omissions also speak volumes. Silence can be either a sign of tacit acceptance or alternatively disapproval – thus if you agree/disagree with something, make this explicitly clear to them. Silence can be comfortable or can be a tactic but most of the time it only creates ambiguity and potential misunderstandings and wasted time. (This applies to all kinds of relationships and interactions – so openly and directly talk about what’s on your mind before misunderstandings form or you start to feel exasperated because the other party won’t take your too-subtle ‘hints’.)
Misunderstandings can lead to the other side thinking that they’ve gained some ground when they’ve not – this ground will then be harder to give back than if they simply didn’t feel like they had it in the first place. It’s difficult to take back concessions so it’s best to prevent mistaken beliefs in the first place.
Even verbal commitments tend to be honoured so if someone vocally (especially publicly) commits to a decision, they’ll find it difficult to change their minds.
Nonetheless, always record notes during negotiations, especially the agreement points. Spend more time summarising what’s been agreed. Then confirm them in unambiguous terms with all parties to avoid any misunderstandings. If anyone disagrees on a point – query why?
The purpose of a negotiation is to hopefully reach an agreement. But the goal is to make it feel like they’ve won. Again, bear in mind ‘what’s in it for them?’ Think ‘what can I give them that won’t take away from my position?’ Keep a clear view of the outcome you want and your opening and minimum acceptable positions. Concentrate on the issues, not on any distractions.
Keep your cool. Have the patience to outlast the other side. Pause and think before speaking out.
If you’re using the ‘foot-in-the-door technique’ – which was explained in Post No.: 0804 – and are making progress, you could try a second effort with a previously rejected request, or ask for extras or repeat orders, while they’re feeling good.
Be thoughtful. Give them a small gift (not a bribe) like a free sample, or something personal like flowers; even afterwards to lessen any thoughts in their mind about backing out.
Have belief, and practise, practise, practise to build your negotiation skills!
And always leave on a good note. Plus don’t forget to convey any calls to action.
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